Divorce can be a big life decision that introduces a lot of change and many people have a hard time deciding if they should pursue one. With so many uncertainties, you might question if divorce is the right move for you.
While you can seek advice on whether to pursue a divorce, the decision is a very personal one. If you are wondering if divorce is the way to go, there are a few things to consider about your situation.
When you feel relief when you are away from your spouse
If you find yourself happier and more at ease when you are separate from your spouse, that indicates that space is needed between the two of you. This might be solved by the both of you resolving to have more individual time away from each other. In other circumstances, you may find that occasional ‘me time’ isn’t sufficient and a more permanent solution is necessary.
When you can easily imagine a life without them
If you find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to be single, then that can be telling. The occasional passing ‘what if?’ daydream isn’t always a sign that something is very wrong. But if you find yourself often imagining life without them and deriving joy from that thought, then it might be time to think about that possibility more seriously.
When the two of you disagree on major life steps
Disagreements and differences in opinions are bound to happen in any marriage. You are, after all, your own people. But if your spouse and you disagree on major life choices, like having children or where to live, that is a problem. Evaluate how important these choices are to you and ask yourself if you are willing to compromise. If the answer is no, divorce might be an answer.
When you feel depressed, distant or hopeless
A healthy marriage should make you feel secure, happy and content. If you find yourself feeling isolated and depressed, it can indicate that something is not right with your relationship. It is important to note the source of your feelings of depression and isolation, as the cause of such things can sometimes be circumstances outside of the marriage. However, if your relationship is causing you to feel chronic stress and having a negative impact on your mental health, that is a big red flag.
When you no longer have the desire to make things work with them
Many people try couples’ therapy before resorting to divorce, in an attempt to repair the relationship. But if you find yourself feeling like you don’t want to make things work anymore, then that is a sign that the next best step is a separation or divorce.
Remember: you are the expert in your situation
You are the expert on your relationship with your spouse and you get to decide what the right move for you is. Divorce can be a difficult choice for some or an easy one for others, but you don’t need to rush to make the decision. It is important that whatever decision you make is the best choice for your unique circumstance.